i'm getting fitter

i'm tired. i feel like a gym rat... having to make up for the lost time outside of work, using my precious quiet time at home clearing emails accumulated during the day.

it's a long journey. looking back, i've ran 8 months of marathon.

what have i gained? it's a back breaking journey of learning how to be patient, to be more tolerant of differences and becoming more adaptable to the harsh environment.

can someone show me the way out of the woods?

too much to lose .. too little to gain

staying on is like running a marathon in the desert. the space is vast and there's no end in sight.

when can i have a brief respite?
where's my oasis?
where's the silver lining?

then again, the alternative plan might not be a bed of roses. i wish i had a crystal ball to predict my future and weigh the options.

a new lease of life?

a potential new lease of life is within sight. there might be a turning point and there's a need to perform to qualify for another option which i've been eyeing for the past 4 months. amazingly i haven been forgotten. however I haven been practising much lately and my skills might have become rusty for the lack of frequent use.

hopefully it shall be as pleasant as what i'm imagining now...crossing my fingers and even toes for the best results ...

topping up my energy tank

what keeps you going daily?

with nothing really permanent to cling on to, for me, personal growth is one aspect that is quantifiable. looking back, what's tangible, what i can claim is mine is knowledge gained from crossing hurdles. gathering sufficient guts, conquering the fear of the unknown and thereafter knowing that i've been there, done that, is good consolation to my otherwise very predictable lifestyle.

my mind remains active and alert wanting for more of such experiences after each conquest. the joy inside me is hard to suppress and i glow with confidence.