inertia

procrastination is fueled by the reluctance to move out of my comfort zone. sometines its the fear of the unknown. at times it could be the lapse into habitual negative thinking abt numerous consequences that might befall on me. i'm a thinker.. and unfortunately i might have been my own stunbling block in life.

procrastination has resulted in alot of closed doors, similar to self inflicted injuries...

where would i be if i had taken the opportunity to talk to someone who might have given me a better job? would i have taken a totally different route if had grabbed the chance that day?

instead of lamenting about my sad state of life, getting up and doing something can at least raise hopes that getting out of the rut isn't that far off.

what do i need now? constant self reminders, discipline, late nights n lots of positivity.

mind games

it's a highly political place - learning how to please all parties, taking extra care not to neglect the unimportant ones; understanding the powerplay and pre-empting their next steps....its like treading a minefield except that the consequences are not as harsh.

witnessing power struggle unfolding right before my eyes breaks the monotony i've been experiencing in the past 6 months. And guess what? i'm officially appointed as the spy to report on any unusual activities and discrepancies the moment i sense it.

it's interesting... and more challenging given the task of having to sieve and process information before presenting it logically. sometimes the level of understanding can be greatly hampered by the lack of historical knowledge to complete the puzzle. wat i see on the surface may be just the tip of the iceberg. figuring out what's going on in their minds seems like an unattainable task.

I'm a simple-minded chap. Am confused at times but still taking things in my stride.

growing wiser

had a whale of a time yesterday, savouring whole abalones, enjoying lou hei and other traditinal new year delicacies to celebrate the new year. got invited to dinner by one of the companies that is still faring well despite the downturn.

good food was aplenty and so was wine. suddnely it didn't feel as though recession has hit us. And the discovery of a premium red wine was the highlight of the dinner - a full bodied, smooth seductive wine with a silky texture was served. it didn't burn my throat even after 4 glasses! normally the cheaper ones are acidic and overly bitter. just a few sips will curb my appetite for more.

this was a memorable night to lift up my gloomy spirits. i'm almost at the point of packing up and moving on. Am i a wrong fit for a mould that was not meant for me? perhaps the initial assessment six mths back was not thorough enough. there are many hidden facts that didnt surface despite my due diligence. Wise men learn from mistakes. hopefully the next stop would be a better place where i can really see myself growing professionally in the long term.

a perfect plan don't exist

there can never be a perfect plan to please anybody.

well... no one knows the sorrow and misery of organising large scale trips to please multiple indecisive perfectionists. first, it was bali... then it became chiang mai... well some say that we better have an alternative location in case the weather in the latter place becomes worse.

i dont care where we are going as long as i can get this trip over and done with. there has been too much time wasted in deciding the location that i cant get the more impt things done. with multiple tasks vying for my attention, my hair is turning white... n my std of living is declining with each passing day.

with watever free time i have, i'll make sure tat its going to be maximised to the fullest.

good things come in pairs...

packing up for my next work trip...

this vacation didnt come easy as i was the overall coordinator running round, tying loose ends. but strangely, i was still excited about packing up. the thought of going away even if its only to malaysia is still a pleasant tradeoff.

And good things come in pairs...
the next upcoming trip to bali just got approved! feb will be a much more exciting season with a longer r&r time at cozy resorts and enjoying spectacular views while not having to burn a hole in my pocket. life is good.. n indeed things are looking up :)

Every cloud has a silver lining

this idiom is quite an apt description for my situation now.

it felt like i've woken up fm a deep slumber. had been ignoring the glaring signals that had bugged me for months. letting go has never been easy but today marks a complete renewal of my mind. something that seems important yesterday has become insignificant. its about taking a step back to evaluate the situation and deciding to walk away than clinging on hoping for a miracle.

i feel much more carefree than before. living without worrying is pure blessing... more enjoyable than a holiday abroad. i can sleep better and cease to worry about what i cant control. Its about I, me and myself... maximising my time to the fullest without having to live for someone else. :)