i learnt another new strategy about 'managing' relationships.

to tackle the trouble maker who can potentially place roadblocks in my path, i have to first establish relations with his boss - show openness and empathy.

i broke my promise ... again

what is my biggest problem today?

it's knowing that something needs to be done, yet procrastination sets in to disrupt my perfect plan.

talk about goal setting, taking a focused approach and breaking bad habits... this is nothing but hot air that gets me nowhere.

why is it so tough to get on the right track? breaking my own promises seems so easy and i didn't even realise it till a friend pointed that out. i've been critical of others who had committed the same mistake and had been hard on them. but i don use the same yardstick on myself.

time to oil those wheels and get moving again. my life had seriously been disrupted. i've been stagnanting. looking for that warm pair of hands to lift me up.

Renewing my promise

how far would you exert or stretch to achieve personal growth?

it depends on how much you really want it.

there are those who are deterred by the physical distance while others simply follow blindly because of herd mentality. some pay lip service without really committing to fulfill the goals. there are also many who are happy to rest on their laurels. bad habits are hard to break.

it really boils down to 'What's In It For Me'? do i have a sense of where i'm going by the little sacrifices i've made today. what am i passionate about?

it's important to have clearly defined goals to steer oneself towards the ultimate direction, reducing the possibility of making detours and wasting time.

Easier said than done.

many a times, it is through making mistakes that one tend to have a better picture of our likes, dislikes and personal goals. sometimes being weak and undecisive, we are controlled by our emotions. closing an eye or both to the reality have led me to be disillusioned, dependent and depressed - i've lost sight of what used to be important to me.

luckily in life, there are always second chances. although damage is not totally reversible, the little setback has taught me to be more self reliant and independent. afterall, life is like a blank drawing board where it is up to us to define where we are going.

recently in toastmasters, we were on this theme on 'Renewing our Promises'. what have i forgotten that has been dearest to me for decades? i have compromised on why i had committed to this cause in the beginning. it's time to renew that single promise that i've made. without it, i will be akin to a ship without an anchor, being swayed constantly by the passing waves. today, i've realised how far i've been from my original commitment. thankfully, it is not too late to do an about-turn.

I, ME and MYSELF

human relationships always baffles me. many a times, i wonder what is the magic formula that one can use to convince others towards a certain cause? in other words, what is unique about an individual that makes one likeable?

sad to say, no matter how hard i try to observe and emulate the true leaders, i can never quite comfortably succeed with satisfactory results. there is the stretching i need to do in order to show that i do care. there is the part about sensitivity that i need to display in taking care of people's feelings. There is also this big lesson i've learnt about respect that plays a major part in getting people onto your side.

do i care enough? do i enjoy serving people? have i been overly self-centered that i forgot about those around me?

relationships come into focus whenever i need a favour and i feel trapped and unhappy when i've to use my authority to get things done. humans are complicated. you have to please them before they will go out of the way to help you. this is what i considered extra work. sometimes it's as simple as spending time to get to know a person. i often ask myself why i'm unwilling to do so? maybe i don't treasure relationships at all and prefers to be self-sufficient? what sort of upbringing have i received to mold me into what i am today?